Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tuesday's Awkward First Relationship

As I mentioned last week, I did in fact date a nice chap named Takeshi. I was, at the time, a bit of a manga geek. I still like manga mind, but back then, I spent more time and money on it than I even have these days. And for a girl like me, a Japanese boyfriend was a dream.

Takeshi and I met through his sister, who I met through her girlfriend's sister, who lived in New York. Our relationship was not really a romantic one. We were good friends; we shared a lot of interests and a lot of beliefs, some less... well-respected than others. But there was never any romance. Frankly, neither of us were each other's type. He wasn't much of a chubby chaser, but I made up for it in spades. For perspective, I'm a chubby girl, but my fiance is twice my size and several inches - 7 or 8 - taller than I am. Takeshi was my height, arguably an inch shorter, and a stick. Also, he had a rather male 'friend' on the side. A lovely chap, by the way. I probably talk to Masashi more than I do with Takeshi these days.

But we were 'together', because it benefited us both. I had a lot of issues with my body at the time, and though he was hardly attracted to me, just having a boyfriend made me feel better about myself. And a pretty Japanese one? In my sort of group? I wasn't going to complain. He, oppositely, wanted a girlfriend who wouldn't mind anything on the side and he could say was there if anyone (his parents or friends, namely) asked.

We didn't see each other often, as you might imagine. I was in high school, he was in Japan, and though he did travel a lot, the few instances we saw each other in NYC or at some event around the coast were few and far between. Once a year was the average. We exchanged gifts - I helped him get a puppy, he got me Swiss chocolates (some of you are perhaps already crying over the thought of me giving him up, I know) - and we even had... relations... on a couple of occasions. But once I went to college, and he moved to Switzerland, we both decided it would be best to break it off.

He took a flight out to Vancouver and we had a nice date, the first proper one we'd ever had in fact. Dinner and a show, a night together without his friends (a rarity for us), and some chocolates. And we broke up. He lived with Masashi and another close friend in Switzerland and really didn't need the excuse, and I had no friends to impress and was feeling more confident with myself even as I grew less happy with everything else. We stayed in touch (and yes, he still sent me chocolate, he ended up owning the store he worked at!), though we haven't spoken much recently. His brother died earlier this year, and though he was never close, I think it hit him hard. The next man I started dating was Al, my now-fiance. I guess that's a bit weird, eh?

I still talk from time to time with Yuriko, too, though far rarer than even Takeshi. I mostly keep in touch with Dessie and Masashi; it's kind of odd how distant it has all gotten, though. We were always distant in terms of spacial relations, but two, three years ago? I was talking to each of them daily. Then again, I guess that is the same with all of my friends from high school. Aside from Carina (my Bowling Green friend), the most I ever talk to even my closest of friends from high school are the occasional reblog on tumblr or a 'like' and rare comment on Facebook.

Nostalgia's overcoming me again, I guess. I really need to make more friends out here, but over the years, admittedly it has been hard. Since 10th grade, really, the only friends I've made are friends-of-friends. I only made 3 friends since I moved here, and one of them is already out of Vancouver and another is my to-be husband. I guess it is just kind of weird to think about. At 15, I was outgoing and had more friends than I could name and was openly dating not just a foreign guy, but a man seven years my senior. Now my closest friends are all online, and I still only talk to my RL friends on Facebook or Skype. I sometimes wish I was an outsider looking in, just to see what really happened during the years.

I'm not unhappy, mind. I like my life as it is, and having met Al, I can't remember a time when I was happier. But it's interesting to see how I have changed. I guess this is now way less about Takeshi and more introspective. Oh well. :P I title these things before I write them, so... yeah.

As an aside, the movie rental store near us was having a Buy One, Get Two free sale. We got Inception, Sharktopus, Let Me In, Dorian Gray, The Other Guys, and Fantasia, as well as Bayonetta, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Wii; oh yes, I know it's bad), Splinter Cell, Metroid Other M, Silent Hill Homecoming, and Two Worlds II. And I am getting a new laptop. My Macbook - which I've had for about three years - overheats at the slightest provocation and the keys are falling out. I managed to get a Lenovo W series (great keyboards, great memory, just what I need) for $1,500 less than it was meant to be. Still about that much, but hey, it is a laptop, after all. Probably a grand less than a new Macbook would have cost me.

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