Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wednesday ees frahm Omnovia.

*bewilderedly looks around*
How did.....Why are....Where am I?!?!??
*looks ups and reads*
'Facets of Us'
Oooohhhhhhh.....that's right, Carlyn asked me to blog.
*settles down at computer*

First things first (rather than first things second or third or last), my name is Meghan. There are a few things you should know about me before I begin this. #1: I am flipping nuts. I know alot of people probably say that, but I really am. I'm sure that convinced you. #2: I am lucky enough to know TWO of these crazy blog peoples. Cassie has been my best and dearest friend for years now. I owe quite a bit to her. But that's ok, I have a written declaration of her undying love and eternal devotion. As for the second, I obviously must know Carlyn as I am blogging for her. In fact I am getting to know her more everyday as she and I have now been dating for just over 3 months. :D

Ya know what??!? I should actually write about things now. Yeah, let's do that.

For today's blog post I am going to plunge you (however willing or unwilling you may be) into the world of Omnovia.
What is Omnovia you ask? Good question.
My freshman year of college something called the Omni-Accent was developed out of a terrible and completely inaccurate attempt to do an impression of Apu of Simpsons fame. It sounded like all accents rolled into one. A year later, a tall, lanky, ginger friend asked if people who spoke in the Omni-Accent were from Omnovia. And thus it was born.
Now, Omnovian speak is marked by a mostly Eastern European sound and horrific grammar. (Note: this is the one and ONLY way you can get Cassie to speak improper English!) And over the past three years this country has developed a culture all its own. Everything from political history and national symbols, to social structure and the zodiac.
And the best part about Omnovia, is Omnovia facts. These are little snippets of Omnivian lore that ALWAYS happen by accident. They also follow the very predictable pattern of the 'In Soviet Russia...' jokes. For example...

In Omnovia... all peoples of the military are beings required to be wearing muttonchops.

In Omnovia... we do not feed the pigeons. But not because pigeons are being public nuisance. Because pigeons come up to here *holds measurement at hip height*

In age six, all Omnovian childrenings are to be losing all senses. Governments takes six year olders and putting them in holding chambers. Not to the causes of not being functional, but if not taken away children friends will put tattoos all over them because they cannot of the stoppings them.

In Omnovia...there are no carpetings. This is because of great carpet fires of 1891. All wild and household carpetings catch fire virus and combust. All across country, no more carpets to being had. Only mud now. So many carpetings now be Omnovian greatest import. Second greastest export being mud. Greatest export? Omnovians.

I will admit, a lot of humor in these facts comes in delivery. I am often known for the ridiculous fervor in which I present them. Can I link things here? LETS FIND OUT!
This is a clip of me giving an Omnovian fact while inhaling helium.!/photo.php?v=842958826824&set=t.20923235&type=2&theater

Other things of Omnovian note:
Everyone has up to two Omnovian Titles
Like the facts, these titles come about mostly by accident or at least by ridiculous circumstance. Here are a few:
Meghan: Sergeant General and Mango Providigner
Cassie: Histogriopher and Cinnamontographer
Carlyn: Chronomancer (only one developed at this point)
Chase: Computer Shayman and Raptor Master

Seceding Factions
Over the years, there have been a few groups of people who have decided to pull away from the country of Omnovia.
The first was Brohemia. No one completely knows why they decided to split from the nation, but they did so loudly and violently. Barring themselves into kitchens and armed with mixing bowl hats, wood spoon swords and nerf gun projectiles a smll group of men proclaimed "We are Brohemia! Where the women are few and the beer is plenty!!!" Omnovia refuses to recognize them to this day. The unfortunate part here is that Omnovia's High Preisting and Grand Champion Fish Flinger was in their ranks.
The second was Skireland. When Omnovia began changing the calendar by renaming months, rearranging days and the zodiac, the city-state that was home to those who cannot differentiate between Scottish and Irish accents, decided they had had enough nonsense. Rather than form a rebellion, the whole city simply lifted into the sky. Now completely separated from Omnovia, the floating 'country' creates a very odd time schedule for the Omnovians. The shadow cast by the mass of it makes for interesting changes.

I'll stop now for the sake of...well everything, but I could talk about all this for hours
*looks at watch*

Well in that case, here's something completely random!

To close things out I will give you a few things about myself that you did NOT need to know before reading all of that. I'm going to tell you anyways though!

I love otters. In fact I would strongly consider them to be my spirit animal, in a loose use of the term.
I, like Cassie, and a theatre person. However, unlike Cassie, I am technically inclined. I design, build, paint and destroy sets, props and various other theatrey things. I am most happy when creating.
I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we don't know or understand that reason, but its theres nonetheless.
And there you have it, a nut shell (and I mean nut literally) of me!

On another last note, feel free to post any questions you have about Omnovia in the comments. Myself or Cassie (if she's up for it that is) will do our best to answer them.

Peace out!


  1. *sits in corner, peering at you* You were not supposed to be guest blogger for Carlyn . . .

    Also, your official Histogriopher disagrees with your spelling of "Skyreland." And as we all know who's writing the history of Omnovia . . . guess whose spelling will prevail? :)

  2. No indeed I was not supposed to guest blog. Original guest fell through last minute so she asked me to jump in.

    And I guess I can agree to that spelling :P