Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Who the eff is Tuesday?

Tuesday derives from Teiwaz, more popularly known as Týr or Mars. Týr, my favorite of all Norse gods, is perhaps most famous for the story of Fenrir. The wolf needed to be shackled, lest it would be a danger to the gods, yet he could break free of anything they put around him. At last, they created a shackle made of unbreakable silk, but Fenrir was suspicious and agreed only to be bound if someone put their hand in his mouth. Týr agreed, knowing that the shackles would not break, and lost his hand for it.

Oh! You wanted to know about me? Well, you can call me Alexandra, or Ophiucha, in the future. My full name is Alexandra Victoria Hollingshead, though my surname is going to be Smith come August 15th. The man who is going to simplify my name is humorously named Alexander. Ophiucha, if you cared, comes from the constellation 'snake bearer'.

I am a nineteen year old woman, born September 2nd, who at one point considered herself the typical 'woman of tomorrow'. I was in the Top 10 of my graduation class, I had excellent scores on the SAT, I got accepted to a wonderful college in Vancouver, and I had intended to become a translator of books. It took about three months for me to realize that I could not learn a foreign language, and about a year more for me to realize that, short of going for medicine or law, college was not for me. I could not learn something that could not be applied to my job. I left my university late last year.

It is odd to think about, really. Where I am now. Everything about me now. I was very different in high school. I made a promise to never marry a man with a simple surname, particularly a short one, for I pride myself in the uniqueness of 'Hollingshead' in America. I am engaged to a Smith. I certainly would not have considered forgoing a college education, even if I just got an English degree for the sake of taking up a teaching job. Yet here we are. I was proud and boisterous, and now I am cynical and shy. I could read Cassandra Clare and enjoy it for the demons, yet now I cannot read past the bad writing and overused story lines. I spend twice the time I once did online. But I don't regret it.

My tastes are more refined, my interests more secure, my opinions more concrete, and my knowledge more widespread than I ever thought it could be. I have fallen in love with a man who loves my cynicism, yet he's the sweetest man I've met. I have found a passion for cooking, and am free to spend hours in the kitchen preparing a meal. I live in a country that I love far more than the one I was born to, and though I miss certain aspects of my youth, I could never go back to the way I was.

I love many things. I love fantasy books that were written contemporaneous with or before J.R.R. Tolkien. The King of Elfland's Daughter, The Faerie Queene, The Worm Ouroboros, Titus Groan, there are just so many masterpieces that have been all but lost to time. I love cheese, my favorite being Bleu d'Auvergne. It is a strong blue cheese, but it isn't as salty and it is nearly buttery in terms of its texture. Wonderful to spread on some thinly cut baguettes. I love unreliable narrators. Vladimir Nabokov was the master at that particular facet of writing. Damn if I didn't enjoy reading Lolita through Humbert's eye. I love bad movies. Particularly zombie movies. One in particular, Wild Zero, chronicles the events of an alien invasion in Japan, which causes zombies for reasons unexplained, and the only way to defeat them is through the power of rock n' roll.

I am Alexandra Victoria Hollingshead (to-be Smith), I am a nineteen year old woman with a knack for writing and cooking who dropped out of college to find herself. I grew up in New York, in the richer part of Long Island, to a British father, New York mother, and with a brother who likes lyricism. I'm a misanthrope with a lot of friends. I am a social democrat, an atheist, a curvy girl, a novelist, a foodie, a Slytherin, and a nerdfighter. I'm a lot of things, and perhaps this year you'll learn what those things are.

I haven't had a picture of me taken in years. Not with any recent friends, not with my fiance, not with anyone or anything I care for. If I had to choose, I'd say a picture of me at three with my Nonna and a boa constrictor.

I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Carlyn.

1 comment:

  1. It's amazing how much we change. In some ways I'm exactly the same I was sophomore year of high school (six years ago), but I thought I'd changed so much until recently when I watched an old home video.